


A Little Better is Good Enough

by jeweldancer



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Depression, Destiel - Freeform, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-05
Updated: 2015-07-05
Packaged: 2018-04-07 17:43:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4272243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeweldancer/pseuds/jeweldancer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Castiel is suffering from depression, he finds something to give his days a purpose.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Little Better is Good Enough

Dean tiredly made his way up the three flights of stairs to his apartment. The elevator was so slow that it wasn't worth waiting for. He hadn't spoken to Cas since lunch, and he was feeling a little guilty and a little apprehensive about what he would find at home.

Cas hadn't been well lately, and Dean had eventually had to stop thinking of it as a passing phase and realized that Cas was experiencing depression. 

Dean's chest ached whenever he saw the overwhelming sadness in Cas's eyes. He would have done anything to make Cas feel better; he would gladly have taken the weight of Cas's problems on himself for a while. As it was, there was so little he could do. He cooked meals for Cas, and made sure he was eating enough. He sat with him and held his hand. At night, Dean pulled Cas into his arms and rubbed his back, trying to soothe him to sleep. 

Cas was sitting on the floor of the living room, still wrapped in his coat, slightly slumped over a cardboard box. What was he doing? As Dean approached him quietly, he heard...squeaking. "Meh! Meh!"

Dean froze. "Cas, what the hell?"

Cas turned toward him, guilt written on his face, just as Dean saw the two grey kittens in the box. "Son of a bitch," Dean muttered. 

Cas looked at Dean pleadingly, like a damn puppy or something. "Dean, I'm sorry. It was an accident."

Dean sat on the floor next to the box and put his hand over Cas's. "How is bringing home a box of kittens an accident?" he asked gently.

Cas sighed deeply. "I was coming out of the store on the corner and a woman asked me to hold the box for a minute while she went to her car."

"And she didn't come back, right?" 

"N-no. I waited on the bench for an hour. I didn't want her to be upset if she came back and her kittens weren't there."

Dean wanted to be angry about the woman making a fool of Cas, but his dejected face was breaking Dean's heart. He let go of Cas's hand to reach in the box and patted one of the kittens. They were so small that Dean could have held both of them in one hand. The kitten went into some kind of sneezing fit. Its sibling had runny, swollen eyes.

"Um, Cas? They don't look too good."

"Yeah, I know. I took them to the animal shelter, but...the lady there said they had so many kittens already, and I thought no one would want these because they're sick. And...I didn't know what else to do. The animal shelter lady told me where to buy some kitten milk, and I've been feeding them with a bottle."

Dean was actually impressed that Cas had mustered up enough energy to accomplish all the tasks he had described. He hadn't been very active lately. "See, the thing is, we can't have pets in the apartment, Cas."

"I know. But I thought they could stay one night, at least."

Dean stared at him a long time. Cas couldn't read his expression. Finally Dean got up and went into the kitchen. Cas could hear him typing on his laptop. He returned in a few minutes with a post-it note that he gave to Cas. "Here. It's the number of the nearest vet clinic. You better call them first thing tomorrow. They'll need medicine and shots and flea treatments and all that crap."

Cas looked hopeful, for the first time in a while. "But what about the no pets rule?" 

"Shit. I'll fix it somehow. We'll hide them, or find another apartment, or whatever."

Cas's face lit up with the smile that Dean hadn't seen in a while, and that made the whole thing worth it. Cas put the box of kittens in the floor of their bedroom, and Dean helped him remove his layers of clothing and put on a Led Zeppelin t-shirt. Cas nestled contentedly in Dean's arms, and they both fell asleep feeling better than they had in weeks.

Cas came home from the vet with a cardboard pet carrier for the kittens and a paper bag full of supplies. He made a chart of their medication schedule and diligently gave antibiotics and applied eye and ear drops. Dean watched him fondly; it was the first time in ages Cas had shown an interest in anything, and he'd be damned if he was going to say anything to discourage him. 

"Have you named them yet?"

"Oh. Yes. They asked me at the vet's, and I had to come up with something. The boy's name is Reginald."

"Reginald? Wha--"

"It's a perfectly good name, Dean. And the girl is Dana Scully." Cas had been doing a lot of Netflix watching while he wasn't feeling well, and had made his way through all nine seasons of The X-Files.

Dean laughed 'til he had tears in his eyes. Damn, he loved this man. "I'm probably going to regret asking, but why isn't the boy's name Mulder?"

Cas considered this, his expression serious. "Well, I suppose if Dana has a surname, it would be appropriate for Reginald as well. I'll call him Reginald Mulder."

Dean had to exercise great self control to keep from becoming hysterical with laughter, but he managed. He couldn't let himself hurt Cas's feelings. "Well, that makes sense."

"It does, doesn't it?"

When Dean came home from work a few days later, Cas met him at the door with Reginald sitting on his shoulder. The tiny grey kitten clung to Cas's coat with its claws, looking very pleased with himself. 

"Did you train him to do that?"

"Oh, no. It came naturally to him. But Dana doesn't like being up so high. She's a jumper. She likes my pocket much better."

Dean glanced down, taking in the tiny fluffball in Cas's trenchcoat pocket. "I can't believe this. You're the kitten whisperer."

They made pasta for dinner and ate sitting on the couch so they could watch television. Cas had inexplicably gotten hooked on "So You Think You Can Dance", which Dean didn't care for, but he wasn't about to complain. The kittens bounced around from Cas's lap to the back of the couch, nearly landing in Dean's spaghetti.

"I think they like Italian food," Cas said with great seriousness, and let them lick the remaining marinara sauce from his plate. 

The kittens grew so quickly that sometimes, upon arriving at home, Dean imagined he could tell a difference from that morning. Charlie visited often, bringing bags of cat toys like a proud auntie. Dean was grateful for her; many of their friends had fallen by the wayside during Cas's depression. Charlie, however, was unfailingly loyal, and even accompanied Cas on vet visits as moral support. 

One evening, Dean and Cas were lying in bed with the long-legged teenager kittens lounging around them. Cas cleared his throat. 

"Dean?"

"Yeah, babe?"

"I just wanted to say...I know I've been difficult lately...and I wanted to tell you how much I appreciate your understanding."

"Cas, listen. It's not your fault. You know that, right?"

"I just wish I wasn't like this. It would be easier for you."

"Depression is an illness, Cas. Hey. Look at me." Dean cradled Cas's face in his hands and looked in his eyes. "Hey. This is not your fault."

"Thank you for saying that. I love you."

"I love you, too, Cas. Things are going to get better."

"They already are a little better."

"A little better is good enough for now."

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this after something similar happened to a co-worker. Yes, someone actually asked her to hold a box of kittens for a minute and then ran off. The story has a happy ending, though; another co-worker adopted them for her children.


End file.
